How To View Anger And Resolve It

Have you ever got angry before? Everyone has. Since we are all human beings with emotions, being angry is one of the multitudes of emotions we experienced. We could get angry due to life frustration or even a difference in opinion. This is quite normal. Whatever the reason that causes the anger, we could retrace the steps to see what triggers the angry emotion in the first place.

There are many reasons why we are angry. We become angry when we:

- Want something to be followed and it is not obeyed to the letter.
- Expect to be perfect (especially a perfectionist) in a matter but the employees do not meet the high expectation.
- Stuck in long traffic and it has not been moving an inch for hours.
- Need to get something important done but forgot to do.
- Children behave mischievously, you reprimand them, but they refuse to listen and continue the behavior.
- Want to get something (eg. A business contract) but the other party is choosy and demanding.
- Someone says hurtful words to you.
- You did not do a certain thing but people blame you for doing it.
- Not enough sleep and facing stress at work.
- You arrange to meet somebody and that person calls up at the last minute to cancel the appointment.

The list could go on…

Being angry about almost anything is insane. It is chronic anger. However, it is okay to get pissed off once in a blue moon. If the thing you are angry about is not of magnitude, then it is alright to let it go.

What happens when we are angry? Not only are you affected, but that person you are angry with is also emotionally affected. It becomes a lose-lose situation. It is not beneficial to our health. When angry or frustrated, our heart rate will increase because the heart will start pumping faster.

When you are emotionally charged with negative thoughts, you could not think straight. The rational mind will take a backseat, and things will only deteriorate if we do not stop it sooner. This is bad for our hearts. Not only that, the toxins released during anger flow into our bloodstream. If it does not get rid of, it will hurt other parts of our body. High blood pressure and diabetes could be two possible results due to unmanaged anger. It may also cause damage to our kidneys and liver. When we are in rage, our body’s healing system is affected and slowed down its optimal functioning.

When anger is not properly managed, a person can display violent behavior that could abuse or hurt the other party. Therefore, managing anger is definitely a priority.

Here are some of the ways you could manage your anger:

a. If you are angry, take 10 deep breaths and loosen your body, especially your fist and major muscles.
b. Switch your mind to other things that can take your focus away from the angry matters.
c. Walk away from the place of occurrence. For instance, if you have a heated argument with someone during a meeting, walk away to cool yourself first.
d. Go to the bathroom and get some water splashes on your face.
e. Drink a glass of cold water.
f. Give yourself a list of why anger is bad for your health.
g. Always adopt a different perspective. Try seeing things not only from your point of view but also from the other party’s view. Best of all, adopt a helicopter view and see the overall big picture to see clearly. Seeing things differently may seem a simple thing to do, but it could be difficult at times since we are so used to our old behaviors. But this method alone can help you resolve 90% of the anger issues. It is a matter of willingness. Try implementing daily more minor matters, and once you could get past them without being angry, you could move on to bigger issues.

h. Tell yourself in advance that getting angry is a sign of low emotional IQ. If you do not get angry in the first place, you do not need to manage it later.

I noticed that in many instances, people get angry because of their ego – the need to be right. This is a very destructive thought. Yes, having an ego is nothing wrong. This is because we all are very individual and have our own self-identity. We each display our own unique selves. But we need to be careful not to fall into the trap of exhibiting our unique identity and disempowering others simultaneously - especially in the case of differences in opinion. If people’s ideas are different from ours, they are wrong. This kind of thinking sets us up for a potential crash and results in both parties being angry. Why not adopt healthy thinking instead – we may disagree on certain things, but we can still move ahead if only we choose to resolve it amicably.

If your anger is a result of you not getting something of your expectation or the issue is not so serious, then the above may help. However, if it is due to some incident that happened years ago and that incident triggers your angry emotion, then you need to use some other form of help. We are often at the mercy of our minds and the event. Sometimes you think you have forgotten the whole matter cleanly, but it still lurks in your deeper mind (subconscious).

We would suggest using hypnotherapy. It is a therapeutic method using hypnosis. It is a way to ‘reach out' to that incident rooted in the past. Once you get to that place during hypnosis, the hypnotherapist will know how to help you to plug out that emotional wound so that you need not suffer the trigger in the future.

Alternatively, you could use a hypnosis audio tape to manage your anger. This method is more convenient since you could listen to it at home while relaxing.