Right about now is when the end of year crunch and stress of holiday planning starts to creep in. People fall into all kinds of categories in terms of how they do the holidays. But whether they actively plan and try to dot all their “i”s and cross all their “t”s or by just wing it nonchalantly, everyone is affected… The holidays have this funny way of getting under one’s skin, hitting raw nerves, and poking at our soul. There is something primal about holidays…

The holidays seem to expose who we are as humans, how we are connected to our kind, how our family operates, how we relate with our partner, who we are as individuals… Not for nothing people struggle during the holidays. Our core gets shaken… We compound all this with the overwhelming amounts of to-dos we impose on ourselves that push us further away from connecting, loving and Being. We create a nauseating cycle of shame… This is the struggle that people face…

The holidays become challenging when we lose sight of what is important. Some drown with the to-dos and expense of putting on the show. The focus becomes on the material and indulging. This only serves the ego and physical plane actually depleting our Spirit, our Soul. At a time of being Thankful and Giving, of nourishing ourselves and our kindred spirits we actually shoot ourselves on the foot and deplete ourselves further…

The challenge then becomes, how do we have a different holiday experience? How do we stay in Spirit? How do we stay connected to our Tribe? How do we honor our Selves and serve our Kin? The holidays have a way of becoming all about the food and gifts and other misplaced focus. How do we refocus? How do we reinvest? How do we show up and reduce the doing? How do we Serve? And, a lot of time we might be busy serving others that we forget our priorities, how do we serve our Partner?

What do you think would happen in your relationship if your focus became to Serve your Partner? Think about this. How often have you sat and thought about how you can honor your partner, how you can stretch to meet your partner, how you can do more for your partner, how you can make their life easier and better? Are these questions freaking you out? That in and of itself is indicative of where your energy needs to be… The more of a reaction you had, the more your attention is to be focused here… This is definitely true if you have been struggling or going through a rough spot.

Make a commitment now to shift your focus. Make a commitment now to prioritize your partner and to serve them, to really honor them. What would this look like for you? What kinds of things would you be adding to your repertoire? What kinds of things would you stop doing? How can you stretch to be of service to your partner? See your partner as the kindred Soul they are… What is their purpose? What are they about? What are they trying to do? What are they meant to do? How do you usually get in the way of that? How can you now pave the way…?

And, after you answered those questions, think about what else. What else can you do to show your partner you cherish them? If you struggle having cherishing feelings, go as if you do… How do you show your partner adoration, that you treasure them? What else can you do to show them they are your number one? What else can you do to pamper, nurture, shower them with the right attention and love? Remember this is about them, you have to do this their way not how you would want it…

Have this holiday season make a real impact on your relationship. Mindfully observe how you usually would go about setting up the merriment, and intentionally make changes so your approach honors your partner. Allow the holiday Spirit to be present in your interactions and shift your focus to Serving your Partner. Have a magical Holiday Season!

Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life…

Happy Serving!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Relationship Challenge™
Have a brainstorming session of ways to Serve your Partner, and how to shower them with awesomeness and act of kindness. Make a list of 50 items… Join our Relationship Challenge™ by committing to shower your partner until the end of the year with items from your list. You are invited to use the comment section of this blog to share the honoring and serving ways you are implementing… Have fun!! Add this to your Tool Kit…

Author's Bio: 

Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected.