Ten Quick Tips to Survive Divorce and the Holidays
The holidays can be a rough time for those recently divorced or those facing it soon. With all the emphasis on family get togethers and social gatherings, it can feel like an agonizing and long stretch of time for many.
So, what can you do to relieve some of the sadness and loneliness you may feel?
1) Keep yourself busy. As tough as it may be to want to crawl out from underneath the comfort of your safety blanket and be around people right now, it is vital that you do so. Accept the invitations that come your way and spend time on yourself to dress up and participate.
2) Traditions from the past sometimes require adjustment. Divorce requires a flexibility you have not known in the past years. Perhaps you are rotating holidays with your ex now and you don’t have the kids this year. Find a close friend or family member to spend Christmas with and look for opportunities to create new traditions with your kids for when you do have them.
3) Nurture yourself. Schedule time out for yourself to work out, read a new book and if you can, get a massage or some other thing you enjoy doing. If you can afford to get away and don’t have kids this holiday, book a trip out of town to a spa or other relaxing venue.
4) Volunteer. There are do many ways to give back during the holiday season and the psychological benefits are mutual.
5) Lower your expectations and be gentle with yourself. You may not have the level of energy you experienced to bake dozens of cookies, host Christmas at your house or “Griswold” your home in Christmas lights. If you are afraid of disappointing your kids, have them pitch in and do something on a smaller scale. Set boundaries with family and let them know what you are up for and what you are not this year.
6) Acknowledge in writing all those things you have in your life that you are grateful for right now. Post this somewhere visible and read it each morning, adding to it each evening.
7) Seek support from a counselor, life coach or another positive influence that will hear you out and provide you with the unbiased ear you need right now.
8) Do not use alcohol or drugs as a band aid to get you through this time. Doing so will only make your situation worse and if you don’t allow yourself to feel your emotions now, you will still be dealing with them next holiday season and carry that "baggage" with you into future relationships.
9) Create a 2018 wish jar and begin writing down all the things/experiences you would like to “manifest” in the upcoming new year. Perhaps you work on a vision board instead!
10) Remember that as quickly as the holidays fall upon us, they exit just as fast. Life will return to “normal” and you will have survived it!
Dominique Nicole is a Life Coach with a specialty area in helping men and women navigate the difficult decision to end their marriage/union. She provides support from the beginning stages through the end and beyond, offering a road map for the process and other services needed while building their security and confidence, saving them precious time and money in the process.
As a two-time divorce survivor and single parent of 4, after a second divorce, Dominique Nicole found there was a great need to fill the gap in the limitations between what a therapist and an attorney can offer. She began coaching and offering concierge services in 2011 after a 20+ year career selling real estate, to pursue what she felt was her calling, to help other men and women walk through the process themselves with the ultimate goal of assisting in the most amicable split, gaining clarity on their top true desired outcomes to prepare them for the business aspect of their divorce with their attorney, meanwhile, preserving their well-being as well as that of any children involved.