I’m familiar with relationship struggles. I’ve had my share, obviously I’m not exempt, and this is what I work with day-in and day-out. I’m pretty intimate with the nuances of what troubles partners and what gets them stuck. For reasons that are beyond the scope of this article, I love working with couples. Couples are my passion. I’m intrigued by them and care about their wellbeing.
Through witnessing so much pain and suffering, despair and hopelessness, and partners throwing their hands up in the air surrendering to what appears an insurmountable challenge, I was able to formulate a process to assist them get past this and thrive. Time and again couples present with patterns and approach to their partner and relationship that undermine their satisfaction, happiness, wellbeing and ability to create and enjoy their awesome relationship.
The process is just amazing. Couples have created their new relationship in just a few sessions! But not all couples are the same, and I find that it’s not the number of sessions that count but the ability of the partners to embrace the process and their growth and healing journey… The process constitutes 10 Strategies I have identified as fundamental to creating an awesome relationship. Most couples that struggle usually need assistance with the first 5 Strategies. They are the building blocks to creating awesomeness.
As we are coming off the Valentine’s Day hype and the pressure for enhanced romance, steamy passion and having a dreamy relationship, I want to reassure you that you are not alone if you are feeling a bit blue and stuck in your relationship… I’m giving you a huge virtual hug if you are in need of some loving, and a gift of the First Five Fundamental Strategies™ to help you start cranking change in your relationship!
Warning: Do not try these if you prefer to stay stuck…
– Set Up Proper Boundaries and a Healthy Relationship Structure – Fully show up, own yourself and become accountable. Set proper boundaries, expectations, roles, and rules. Clean your interactions and approach to each other – respect, courtesy and mindfulness go a long way.
– Transform Relationship Patterns to Heal, Repair and Build Trust – Understand what’s driving the hot buttons in your relationship. Understand how yours and your partner’s buttons are a perfect match for keeping you stuck… Invest in not triggering your partner and in appropriately getting your needs met.
– Set Up a Strong Communication and Conflict Management System – Create and honor a Fighting Fair Code™. Set up safe conversation times to address issues, concerns or intense topics. Set each other up for cooperation. Set up transparency and accountability mechanisms.
– Conquer Your Debilitating Mindset Keeping You Stuck – Gentle your inner critic, clean your yucky thinking and take control of your mind! Move from an ego-led (fear-based) to a heart-led (love-based) approach to your relationship. Address assumptions, recurring themes and limiting scripts.
– Conquer Your Debilitating Feelings Keeping You Stuck – Feel and manage your feelings (anxiety and depression are only symptoms…). Self-regulate and self-soothe. Establish a sustainable self-care routine.
The approach to implementing the Strategies is not black and white. You can juggle a couple at the same time as the investments will tend to overlap. You can be fluid and flexible as long as you keep your eye on the ball! I would recommend picking one or two to focus on and give it your all. The more you put in, the more you get out. Remember that insight and knowledge is not enough. You have to take action on these. Go crank and create change!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life…
Happy Cranking!
P.S. So now that all the hype is over and we are past Valentine’s Day, we get to go back to normal and have more down to earth expectations and approach to creating our awesome relationship. Now is the right time, post holidays, post New Year’s resolutions and post Valentine’s Day, to recommit to properly, effectively, and rewardingly invest in your relationship. All you need is the Successful Couples Workbook™ with a 1-Hour Kick-Start Session with me! I’ll guide you in integrating the insights and tools into your repertoire for immediate application and results!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Decide what area of your relationship needs attention:
– Establishing Boundaries, Ownership and Accountability
– Changing Patterns and Getting Needs Met
– Improving Communication and Conflict Resolution
– Upleveling Your Relationship Mindset and Changing Debilitating Scripts
– Increasing Self-Management, Regulating and Soothing (to reduce reactivity…)
Pick three actions you will do this week to address your area of need…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
~ Share Your Thoughts & Successes in the comment box at the end!
Take a moment now to share below any thoughts, comments, take away, tips, and successes! PLEASE post a comment now – we grow in community!
Thanks for connecting with the MetroRelationship™ Family!
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected.