Shock and disbelief flooded my mind as I stared at the now empty parking spot in our apartment complex. Just 30 minutes earlier it was there. Why wasn’t it there now? The thoughts sped through my mind but it seemed like each one paused long enough for me to ponder: “Where is my car? Maybe somebody mistakenly thought it was his and accidentally took it. They’ll be back.” My husband had the same kind of irrational thoughts as he called out to me (with the car keys in his hand) “Where did you go? Where did you go?” Our daughter cried out “I want my car!”
What started out as a nice evening out, turned into an evening of filing police reports and insurance claims.
Someone stole my car!
Imagine if this were you: what would you do? How would you feel?
In that moment I realized that I had a choice. The choice was to decide which mind I would listen to. The first mind said something like this: I can’t believe this is happening to me! Why would somebody take my car? And we just paid it off, a whole year ahead of schedule. Now we’re going to have to get a new one, which means a new bill! How am I going to get to grocery store tomorrow? I’m going to be stranded in our house! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”
These thoughts are totally normal, but they led to anxiety, fear, worry, frustration, and anger, just to name of few of the toxic emotions that were flowing through me. As I became aware of what I was thinking, I realized that if I wasn’t careful, I’d think of myself as a victim with no control over her actions and could very well start to lash out at my husband and daughter for no reason.
Once I realized what I was thinking, I decided to switch to my second mind, which was telling me thoughts like: Thank God we didn’t catch the thief in the act because we may have gotten hurt. I’m glad we are all together right now. It’s a good thing our car was paid off so we don’t have to make payments on a stolen car.
These thoughts are uncommon and they led me to feelings of gratitude, peace, and confidence. And better yet, these thoughts took the focus off of me and put it on the big picture.
So instead of fighting with my husband and yelling at my daughter, we ate dinner and laughed at our first reactions to our stolen car. And instead of isolating myself and having a pity party, I reached out to my family and Facebook friends and they poured out love, concern and support.
So what does this have to do with life and love?
It goes without saying that as long as you live on planet Earth, you will face challenges, obstacles, and pain. A broken heart, a lost love, the passing of a loved one, and financial loss can blindside you. But if you know how to take a step back, choose your thoughts, and reach out to loved ones for support you can make it through anything!
Please share how YOU have made it through life's challenges. Your story may help somebody else!
Aesha Adams-Roberts, PhD, is a bestselling author, speaker, and communications expert. In her book, "Can I Help a Sister Out: How to Meet and Marry of Your Dreams" Dr. Adams-Roberts reveals the step-by-step secrets and strategies she used to meet and marry her husband in 11 short months. Her expertise is highly sought after by men and women, single and married couples alike.