I know you must be wondering what on earth do I mean by "Conscious Dater" you are thinking yes I have had some lousy dates but I honestly can't remember falling asleep on any of them!
With the understanding of how stress impacts our overall health and well being, it would only be wise to address one of the leading causes of emotional and physical stress on this planet - dating and relating. The main goal of this article is to introduce "Conscious Dating", a concept devised by David Steele, the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute, the world's oldest and largest school dedicated to helping singles navigate the dating world and helping couples learn the art of relating to one another to help create and sustain happy fulfilling relationships.
Until recent generations, men and women dated, married, had families and rarely divorced. Not long ago, there were clear rules for relationships - in which couples did not focus on personal fulfillment or happiness- and stayed together "till death do us part." As we all know, our society has changed and so has the way we form and experience our personal relationships. A lot more emphasis has been place on the "need to be happy" and ironically most people are often in the dark about what their recipe for happiness actually contains. The following ten principles of "Conscious Dating" is a workable strategy for anyone who is single and wants to reduce stress and the potentially physically damaging effects of heartbreak and relationship breakdown.
Ten Principles of Conscious Dating
by David Steele
1. Know who you are and what you want.
Like an iceberg, we are typically aware only of the tip, while our success and happiness depends upon what lies below the surface.
2. Learn how to get what you want.
Assess the information, tools, and skills you will need and acquire them. Develop creative strategies and action plans. “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
3. Be the “Chooser.”
Take initiative and responsibility for your outcomes. Don’t react to what, or who, chooses you. Seek to create what you want in your life.
4. Balance your heart with your head.
Make your relationship choices consciously. It’s still exciting!
5. Be ready and available for commitment.
Live your life and bring your dating strategy into alignment with how ready you really are for a committed relationship.
6. Use the “Law Of Attraction.”
Be the partner that you are seeking. Attract the partner that you want by developing yourself and living the life that you want. “If you build it, they will come.”
7. Gain relationship knowledge and skills.
Prepare for the love of your life by learning about relationships, improving your relationship skills, and deepening your relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues. Date for fun and practice. Take more emotional risks. Read about relationships. Get relationship coaching. Take relationship classes and workshops.
8. Create a support community.
Isolated singles become lonely in their relationships when they focus on a partner to meet all their social and emotional needs.
9. Practice assertiveness.
To get what you really want, you need to say “No” to what you don’t want.
10. Be a “Successful Single.”
Don’t put your life on hold waiting for a relationship to happen. Live your life vision and purpose while you are single. The best way to find your life partner is to be a happy, successful single person living the life that you really want.
Lets face it - unconscious dating can lead to disaster, not only for the couple but for any children involved in the equation. Becoming conscious about our requirements, needs and wants in relationship is an excellent beginning for any single person wanting to create his or her next great relationship. By making a plan for what your really want in your life and your relationship and working with a trained professional relationship coach you will minimize your dating stress levels and steer away from previously unhealthy, stifling relationship drama and release limiting beliefs and fears that have prevented you from living the life of your dreams with the partner of your dreams.
A relationship coach will help you focus in on your personalized Conscious Dating Plan by helping your gain clarity in the following areas:
* What is your relationship readiness status?
* What are your strategies for scouting, sorting, screening and testing potential life partners?
* What are your boundaries?
* Who in in your community that can support you in your quest?
* How will you stay on track?
* What is your exit strategy?
* What is the difference between a pre-committed and committed relationship?
Our refusal to identify with self-limiting negative states reaps us the reward of rising above their inherent limitations. In understanding that all relationships, especially primary love relationships, are for spiritual development and growth, not merely vehicles of pleasure; appreciation and understanding of the invaluable gifts of insight and potential for self and social transformation are essential for being able to endure the challenges of loving another. When you can accept the eternal paradox that loving yourself and another is both the easiest act and the most difficult act on earth to achieve/surrender to – you will begin to understand the challenge.
Tranformational Love Coach for singles and couples who are ready to experience and model influential, spirited, personal relationships, Intuitive guidance, Spiritual Awareness, Global Responsibility.