How to Have What You REALLY Want (Excerpt)

You experience life at both an inner and outer level. The inner level is about your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions, etc. The outer level is where you take action based on what was just listed for the inner level. It’s also where you interact—or collide—with the results of the actions you take in the outer and what you believe at the inner level. This is why you must address both levels. You cannot have an action take place in one level without seeing a result or consequence in the other.

If you desire true control over your life—as much as you can have, that is—it is important for you to recognize when you need to focus more attention at the inner level or at the outer level. Whatever you focus attention on is what you get more of. Think that’s wacky? Did you ever wake up and feel it was just not your day? Did things happen that supported your belief? What about days when you woke and believed it was your day? There is one thing both scenarios have in common: You—and what you chose to believe.

Here’s a secret: You can identify what it is you actually focus on by looking at what you attract. If you focus attention on avoidance of or fear of unpleasantness, you’ll attract the people and events that match what you focus on—the unpleasant—and magnetize situations, possibly problems you really don’t want. Conversely, if you focus on feeling as good as you choose, no matter what, you’ll attract people and events that support that, as well. And, yes, I do mean you should strive to do this even when you face challenges and feel a bit (or a lot) anxious. There’s an “art” to this that's explained as you go through the workbook material.

You’re reading this now, which means you’ve chosen to invest in yourself, your present, and your future. All of us are on a journey. We call it life—and it can be a journey of adventures based on what we choose for ourselves, as well as what we choose when events are thrust upon us. All basic journeys need two things to be successful: A map and one step at a time. No matter how good your map is, you may still have detours along the way. Some detours you choose to take; others show up when you least expect them.

There is a saying — “In order to have something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.” It makes sense, doesn’t it? If you’ve never asked yourself the questions in this workbook or created a workable plan for your life, now is the perfect time to do so. No matter who you share your life with, each individual’s journey is always personal. No one else can or should create your personal map. They may assist you, if appropriate, but shouldn’t dictate how it plays out. Nor will you create only one map for your entire lifetime. You can revise it as you achieve desired outcomes—or reach crossroads.

Once you create your plan, remember that you are free to change it anytime you need to in order to feel and have more of what you want. Be sure your responses come from head and heart agreement about what is appropriate for you, not to satisfy others’ demands or opinions about your life. And, never, ever infringe what you want on others. If there isn’t complete agreement, eventually, “it” will fall apart, usually painfully.

If you're ready to look at your life and your self in a whole new way, "How to Have What You REALLY Want," is a guide that can get you started immediately.