Your Baby Comes First

If you have a baby under a year old, chances are you spend a lot of your day in daily care-taking. You change diapers, give baths, feed, burp, carry, bounce, clean, play, entertain, and that is just in the first 3 hours of the day. Your baby needs your constant attention to his every need—and that is the way it should be. You need to be showering your baby with every ounce of your love. This is what produces a happy, healthy child and that is the way God intended it.

If you agree to baby sit or look after others’ kids, then you are not giving your full attention to your baby. You are dividing your care. End result: your baby is not getting the full you. You may not be holding baby as much. Baby may have to wait while you take care of the needs of others. You can’t do as much with baby. Baby may even take second fiddle because you are trying to impress the mother of the other kids. You may put more care into them so you don’t lose your job. After the other kids leave for the day, odds are you are exhausted and have no energy left to do the little extras for baby that matter so much such as reading him a bedtime story, playing peek-a-boo, or giving him that extra kiss good night.

It may be tempting to watch others’ kids for a few hours for the extra money, especially if you have a newborn and baby sleeps a lot. You may be going stir crazy, sitting at home all day, thinking you could be making a positive contribution to society. You may be thinking that you should be doing something, especially if you quit your job to stay at home. This may be the first time in your life you don’t have a traditional job. You may be fighting feelings of guilt about burdening your husband and you may want to help. Let me assure you all of these thoughts and feelings are normal for women transitioning to motherhood.

However, you are doing the most important job in society, whether you are acknowledged or not, or whether you feel appreciated or not. Raising your baby to be a productive member of society is the most important thing you will ever do. Being there when baby spits up, cries to be held, poops, or is hungry is the only place you need to be right now. You need to be able to respond to baby’s needs immediately, not when you have finished disciplining the neighbor’s two year old.

Your husband should want you to devote every waking moment of the day to your baby. His role is providing. Your role is nurturing and caretaking. That’s not to say that all you are is a mother. In the near future, when baby grows to be a toddler, you will have the time to branch out and find a passion close to your heart. Right now, baby needs you. He can’t tell you that he would rather be the one being held. He can’t tell you that he wants your undivided attention. He can’t tell you that he wants to sleep next to your heart and not be placed in a crib.

Most women became a mother for the innate need to leave something of herself behind. The biological clock that ticks is telling you when to give everything else up (for a period of time) and devote yourself to the next generation. We all yearn to leave behind the best parts of us in the form of our children—this includes physical features, intelligence, religious beliefs, morals, and values.

You are not your job. You are you. You don’t need to prove anything to anybody or yourself. You just need to be present with your baby and just be. Be there when he laughs as the dog passes by. Be there when he cries for you. Be there when he picks up his first toy. Soon enough, he will be in school and those precious moments will just be memories. You will have time enough to follow your passion and go back to work. Take a short break from the hubbub of life and enjoy your creation. Discover life alongside your baby. This will be the best time you will ever spend in your life.