Divorce Mediation Basics: 5 Things to Know

Divorce is never fun or easy, but there are some things that can make the process less stressful for you and your spouse. Mediation is always an option that could help the two of you navigate your formal agreement and determination of property and asset sharing. It can also mean less cost for the two of you, more privacy and fewer court appearances.

What Is Mediation?

Mediation is an option that divorcing couples have in order to avoid a lengthy court fight over assets, income, and custody. If both parties are fairly agreeable on the way they should divide these things when going through a divorce, mediation can be quicker and far less expensive, especially when dealing with billable hours with a divorce attorney.

This does not mean you shouldn’t hire a divorce attorney, however. An attorney can help you determine what is important in your divorce terms that you may have not even considered yet. So, it’s important to seek counsel from a qualified divorce attorney before any action is taken with your divorce.

A mediator is a third party that is hired by you and your spouse, along with your attorneys, to try to come to an agreement and avoid court. Some local governments may require that you use mediation before entering the court system. If mediation does not enable you to come to a mutual agreement, then a court date is set for initial divorce proceedings.

The first step to the mediation process is to find a courthouse and file for divorce. The next step is to find a mediator. Your divorce attorney can probably suggest one, or the courthouse may have suggestions for you.

Is Domestic Violence a Valid Reason for Divorce?

When filing for divorce, a reason for the split needs to be identified. Domestic violence is a reason that some divorces may happen. The key is to back up claims with records of violent events. Reporting to police so there is a paper trail of reports showing a history of domestic violence will only help your claims and speed up the divorce process. It will also cause the court to look more favorably on your case, often giving the victim of the violence custody of any children involved.

After police records show that a domestic violence event occurred, you should also file for a restraining order against your spouse. This is done with a judge’s approval, and showing the court proof of prior police reports will help ensure the order is stringent and helps to keep you safe.

If the police are called during a violent encounter with your spouse, they may decide to arrest him or her. If they do, make sure you press domestic violence charges against them. If you don’t, there will be nothing on their record showing their violent tendencies, and police may not be able to keep you safe from them.

Five Things to Know About Mediation

1. The first thing you should know about mediation is that both parties need to be open to compromise for it to work. Neither of you can have it all your way and expect the process to work. If you aren’t open to negotiation, the mediation will not be successful and your attorney will set up a court hearing to start the process so the courts can decide for you.

2. Mediation is less expensive than divorce court. Your attorney does not need to be present, and there are fewer billable hours from your attorney’s office when using mediation. Court fees also don’t apply, though you will need to compensate the divorce mediator for their services.

3. When choosing mediation, the proceedings and content of your meetings are not made part of a public record. This may be especially important if you want to protect children involved or just keep your personal assets private. Normally, divorce court proceedings are available for public viewing.

4. Though the fact that you have filed or been granted a divorce by the court at the end of mediation is still part of the public record, mediation may be a better choice if you want to keep things quiet in the meantime.

5. Using a mediator can improve communication between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This can be especially important when custody issues, co-ownership of a business and alimony payments will force you to continually be a part of each other’s lives.

6. When using mediation for your divorce, you and your spouse are in control of the parameters of your agreements. Divorce courts have rigid principles they must adhere to, and division of property can be customized more easily when using mediation.