Dr. Romance on dealing with disappointment

Dr. Romance writes:

OK, so you're disappointed.  Your dream has ended in the trash.   So, after you get finished with laying on the floor, kicking your  heels, and screaming; or going on a drunken binge, or beating someone up, you find you're still disappointed, and all that acting out hasn't  fixed anything. Now what do you do?

Disappointment is a dead-end in your road. Now you need to figure out a new direction.  Here are some hints:  

DO put it in perspective:
When you're disappointed, it hurts, but your life is not over.  Look to  your future, and see what you can do to make it better.

DO understand that you had some control, but not total control over this:
Look at what happened.  What caused your loss?  You can improve your team effort, your skills, your spirit and look forward to the next  event.  On the other hand, don't blame yourself for the things you couldn't control.  Take a balanced view.

DON'T give up:
 No one is a failure until they quit.  Don't quit when you're behind.  Instead, get determined to do better.

 DO try to learn from the experience
 Every disappointment is a teaching moment.  You can learn from   whatever went wrong.  Re-play your tapes (mental or actual) of the  event, and figure out how you can do better. 

DON'T expect anyone to sympathize beyond the first few moments.
Sympathy is OK for a short while, but it debilitates you in the long run.  You'll feel better if you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game.

From It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction

For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com