Growing Pains

Growing pains are just that… painful. I’m not talking about physical growth spurts when you were younger and your body ached for days. No… I’m talking about growing pains that stem from personal growth. These growing pains manifest when you make changes in your life and feel emotional discomfort or pain. Sometimes growth can be quite exciting, but as humans, we are built to be creatures of habit and comfort.

Growing pains tend to occur when the growing isn’t quite as fun and exciting as it once was. These programs and stories that are being fed to us through our ego begin to pull us backwards in our growth. The programs want us to keep our old homeostasis and discontinue any growth process.

We have all experienced it; some of us drastically, and others in smaller and more manageable ways. For those of us that are always working on personal growth in one area or another, these growing pains are no stranger! In the past few years, I have had some tremendous life changes. During those years, I have been doing some deep personal growth work. At the beginning of this growth process, I specifically stated goals and desires for my future, and amazingly these areas of my life have changed and continue to change. I am overjoyed when I get to see progress and change in both myself and in my clients!

However, there is still a growing process (and sometimes pain) that happens in adjusting to these new and wonderful aspects of life. How can we hang on when things seem to get tough? How do we not get pulled down in the midst of everything coming together that we have worked so hard for?

Here are a few tips and reminders to help you throughout this growing process:

Validate your discomfort: Check in with yourself and acknowledge the feelings you are experiencing without shaming yourself. Don’t pretend these feelings don’t exist, because then they will come out in less desirable ways. That does not mean to get stuck in those feelings, but simply to note that things are uncomfortable and that you are capable of sitting through the discomfort.
Remind yourself why you began: I find it incredibly helpful to sit down in times like this and journal on the reasons why I am working towards growth. Ask yourself: What my goals are in the journey? Another technique that I find helpful is writing a letter to yourself when you have reached a good place in your personal growth. That way when things get tough, it is easier to remind yourself why you began in the first place.
Pat yourself on the back: Take some time to look at how far you have come in the journey you have taken. If you are closer to the end than the beginning of a growth process, then you’ve almost made it! Then, look at your track record for getting through difficult times. (You’re not dead so it is 100%).
Get support: Find people that can support you in your growth. This can be a coach, mentor, therapist, friend, etc. Some of the best support comes from people that have lived similar experiences and can simply say “Me too,” and “I made it through.”
Self-Care, self-care, self-care: During periods of intense growth, it is imperative to take time for yourself and your own care. Take time out to go see a movie, get a massage, have coffee with a friend, take a hot bath, etc. When we are in a state of discomfort, the best medicine is our own self-soothing.

If you are in need of help and support to move you forward in life, please reach out for a free consultation and information on coaching packages at www.recovertolife.com or email me at recovertolife@yahoo.com.