How To Get Husband To Go To Counseling: Partner Won't Go To Couples Therapy

How To Get Husband To Go To Counseling: Partner Won't Go To Couples Therapy

Relationship counseling is often the final solution for couples on the verge of the break up or divorce. However, some couples use counseling early on when the first problems appear. As any other option, you must not be discouraged to use counseling as a way to solve your problems, even if you think that your problems are minor. When you catch small problems early with counseling, you can prevent bigger problems from happening at the first place. Early counseling can even prevent an inevitable divorce.

Couples in our time have courage to try to new ways to save their relationships and marriages, this represent counseling as a good choice. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try to change their classical behaviors, perhaps because it is a new thing that was not popular when they were young. Unfortunately there are plenty of marriages of 30 or more years now end in divorce, which is not good because they did not give counseling a chance to help them save their marriages.

If you feel the urge for relationship counseling, be sure to ask your partner to go to counseling, but don't be judgmental. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are implying that it was their fault and you are the one who does the right thing by suggesting counseling, you will face resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself, or at least for the sake of your relationship.

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If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some problems to solve, they will accept the idea smoothly without resistance. Show them that you need counseling because you want to involve more effectively in the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner. Don't say to your partner that you think they need counseling. Even if you believe in that, once you're in relationship counseling, they will hear some hints to help them be better partners, exactly like you.

Don't be discouraged to ask for relationship counseling, no matter how long you have been involved in the relationship. Don't say it is too late to try counseling to eliminate obstacles and problems. You can always try to prevent small problems from being big ones. If the relationship is in its beginning, you might think that you are dooming the relationship by suggesting counseling. But that's not the case every time. Actually facing problems and solving them now will strengthen your relationship in the future.

If your partner thinks that your suggestion of counseling means that the relationship isn't flawless, and that it is better for you to end the relationship, convince them gently that this is not true, Just because you are honest to the extent to admit that it is not perfect shows that you are serious to do whatever it takes to keep the other person and yourself satisfied.

If your partner refuses, go alone. While the counseling would work best if both of you were there, you can go and work on things to improve things from your side. If your partner sees that you are serious about getting some relationship counseling, they will be persuaded to give it a try.

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There are a few stages of marriage that couples will go through. This will happen in different orders, different lengths of time, and some couples may even skip a stage. But this will allow you to see what stage you are in, and what you can do to get your marriage back on track, or keep it on track.

The first stage happens for pretty much everybody, it is the new love. It is filled with romance, passion and fire! Everything in this stage seems to flow fairly smoothly, as there is gift giving, lots of sexual activity and attention. The love is fairly strong and it will seem nothing can stand in your way. One of the things to watch out for in this stage is couples usually focus on the similarities and not even notice the differences. While it is important not to focus fully on the differences, you do need to realize however, what differences you do have, and make sure they are not as big, as in different life goals and values that will cause issues later on.

The next stage is commonly called "after the honeymoon". This is because all that romantic passion seems to dwindle at this point. You start to notice the other person's flaws, their habits that seem to annoy you more and you may think they have changed into a new person, or perhaps you have done something wrong for the end of an exciting, sex filled beginning period of your relationship.

Now you have come to the "I am right" stage. You put a mark on your territory, and so does your spouse. You may have silly little arguments that will lead to no where, any neither of you will back down. You may start to wonder where the love went, and who this new person is. Conflict seems to arise in different situations where it was easy going before. You need to be able to deal with this new conflict head on. Communication is key, it is so important at this stage and I can't say it enough. You both need to deal with the conflict by listening to each other, seeing the other person's point of view and finding a solution by working together.

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Now you start to look back at your relationship. This stage you will wonder if this relationship will work, if your spouse is the right person and other questions like that. A lot of the affairs that take place happen during this stage because there seems to be some distance between the couple, and even within themselves. Space needs to be a respected during this time and again, talk to each other openly about your feelings. Be compassionate with each other to avoid any temptation to look else where for "support".

It is time to realize what you both have been through and agree to continue to work it out and make this marriage work! This stage is called the "reconnection" stage and serves as an acceptance phase as well. You know each others faults, and their differences but now you accept them and make them work into the relationship.

After the "reconnection" stage you are committed. You both are back to a purely happy marriage and full commitment with each other. The love may not seem as passionate, but I feel it is stronger at the stage. I say this because after everything you both have been through, you stayed as a team, you both wanted the marriage to work, and it did! You now have a strong love that will work with you in the future.

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Persons who are single dream of finding their perfect match and sharing a happy and lasting marriage until the day they die. But with the rising rates of divorce every year, more and more people are not able to fulfill their dreams of a happy and lasting marriage. Here are marriage tips for people who have always wished of having lasting and happy marriages.

First and foremost, married people must never forget that there are two people involved in the marriage: you and your spouse. If you have a lousy marriage now, you and your spouse created that. Neither you nor your spouse is the only person who is to be blamed for your unhappy marriage. Therefore, if a happy and lasting marriage is what you dream of, both you and your better half must work towards this same goal. Whatever decisions that you have to make, your spouse should also agree with these decisions.

Second, your spouse and you must always work as a team. Again, there are two persons involved in the marriage. To fulfill all your goals, you and your spouse must know how to harmoniously work together. For example, if you happen to have different views about raising your child, you and your spouse must talk everything through and decide on one thing. After you have established the rules, always work together under these rules. The same thing goes for every subject that you do not agree on: handling your finances, buying assets, in-laws, and others.

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Third, do not forget about each others' needs. As you have more kids, there will be more responsibilities and tasks to accomplish. As you try to climb the corporate ladder, the more busy you will get. With all the other things clamoring for your attention and time, never ever forget about the needs of your spouse. Make sure that you set aside time to spend with your spouse alone. As you get ready to sleep, talk about each others' thoughts and feelings.

Fourth, communicate efficiently. Effective communication is a very important aspect of successful marriages. Are you able to share your deepest feelings and thoughts with him or her? Do you know how to listen attentively to what your spouse is saying? When you are faced with a marriage problem, are you able to talk it out with your spouse without shouting or blaming each other?

Remember that misunderstandings usually cause so many problems between spouses. To make sure the misunderstandings will never happen, there must be effective communication between spouses. If you want a successful marriage, you surely must learn how to communicate effectively with one another.

And fifth, always respect one other. Even if you and your spouse are fighting, never disrespect each other through shouting or physical abuse. Also, if you love your spouse, you must also show respect to the people that she loves. For instance, even if you do not have a good relationship with your in-laws, never disrespect them because they are the parents of your spouse.

If you dream of a happy and lasting marriage, remember these marriage tips.

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From the outside looking in, your marriage may appear to be picture perfect. You might be surrounded by people who are in awe of your family life or single co-workers and friends who wish they had what you had. It could be that you do a fabulous job of holding everything together so nobody sees the cracks in your marriage.

If you're doing that, I salute you. It takes strength and it takes guts to keep something together that, otherwise, would fall apart. There's only one problem with that scenario: you can only pretend for so long. When you hit the place in your marriage where the possibility of divorce is a daily occurrence, you are in the pre-divorce phase. You no longer have the option of pretending that things will smooth themselves out. They won't. You are now pretty convinced on the notion that your marriage is going downhill. While you might not be taking action in that direction, your thoughts of divorce are setting intentions and it's up to you to understand the impact your thought of divorce have on what actions you take in regards to your marriage.

Thoughts are powerful. "As a man thinketh, so is he." If you sit down and consider all of the major achievements of your life, what was the starting point, the birthplace of that goal? A thought. The more you think about something, the more real it becomes to you. Before you know it, your mind is consumed with doing and acting in ways that are taking you down the path of that specific train of thought. Before you think another "I want a divorce" thought, I need you to understand three points about the connection between thinking about divorce and actually getting one:

Point #1- You become what you think about all day long.

Ever crave a piece of chocolate, ice cream, or a slice of pizza? The more you think about it, the more you crave it. In fact, the more you think about NOT thinking about it, the MORE you crave it. Whatever is preoccupying your mind, on a day to day basis, is ruling your life. If all you find yourself daydreaming about is divorcing your spouse and starting a new life, no matter how much you say you'd like to see things work out, what you are creating is an ever-increasing unhappiness with your marriage and an increasing desire to start fresh outside of your marriage.

Bottom line: What you focus on gets bigger.

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Point #2- There's a difference between contemplation and preoccupation.

In a rocky marriage, it's important to contemplate divorce without becoming preoccupied with divorce. Contemplation means you look at all sides of a situation without any bias towards moving in one direction or the other. You consider the facts, weigh options, or look for new solutions. Preoccupation, on the other hand, involves being stuck on one train of thought, caught up in looking at your marriage from only one perspective and allowing yourself to play the role of 'victim' or 'victor' over and over again to the point where you prove to yourself that there's only one way out of this marriage debacle. Preoccupied thoughts keep you stuck and leave no room for inquiry or creative problem solving.

In a rocky marriage, your goal is to contemplate the issues of the marriage, not get preoccupied with the details of the divorce.

Point #3- An ounce of action is worth a ton of thought.

Thinking is a great exercise but it's not, in and of itself, a strategy. If you are at a point where you know divorce is a viable option, you don't have time to continue "thinking" about the situation. You know the deal. You've been in the marriage long enough to read the writing on the wall.

There's a time for talk and there's a time for action. When you become aware that you're in the pre-divorce phase (and if you're thinking about divorce at least three times a week, you are), it's time to be proactive and start taking steps towards self-reliance and financial independence that will give you the room to be prepared for whatever comes next. You have the power to give yourself that level of security but only when you stop thinking and start acting.

At the end of the day, the person who will decide where a rocky marriage is heading will be one or both of the individuals in that marriage. No one can make that decision for you. However, you need to understand how powerful the way you think about your marriage is to what you end up deciding will become of your marriage.

Wrong thought leads to wrong action every time. Get it right by knowing the power of your thought and contemplating the right questions while being open to all possible answers.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.