Husband Wants To Move Out Temporarily: My Spouse Wants A Separation Because He Needs Time For Himself

What are you supposed to do with yourself and your relationship after a separation? The idea behind a separation is to see if you can survive without each other for a while, and hopefully all your problems will melt away. A separation should be a useful tool to show a couple what it is that they need to work on to improve their relationship for the future. But it doesn't work that way, most people view separations as the first step in dissolving a marriage.

I've seen for myself that relationships are stronger after a couple separates for a while, all it takes is a little effort to get there. They key is to take a step back and see the relationship for what it really is. Be honest with yourselves, what are the big issues in your relationship? This would be a great time to listen to your partner, even if you don't always agree with everything they say, it's going to show you where they stand and what they think is important.

Don't let yourself fall into the trap that so many others do...don't fix the problems and then let them return to what they were before. We all change the oil in our cars right? So if you get some bad oil and you get it out of your engine are you going to put the same stuff back in? Of course not! That's a terrible idea and you know it! Apply that same logic to your relationship, don't become another couple that gets a divorce after a separation. Be the couple that makes it!

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So what was the reason behind your separation? And I don't want the phony one that you tell all your friends and family, what really happened to drive you guys apart? A list of symptoms does you no good, if something is wrong you want to know what disease you have. This is another time that it's a good idea to be honest with yourself, because if you're not honest the relationship is never going to get better. Never forget that emotions can push us into saying and believing things that we don't mean, so don't let your emotions get the best of you.

You've finally figured out what it was that drove you guys apart. It's important to remember now that there are two people in a marriage so both of you need to work on fixing it. Solving the problems together is just the first step in improving your relationship. The more you work together the more successful you will be.

The hardest work has already been done. Being honest with yourself to figure out what's wrong in your marriage is a tough job for anybody. Most of us don't like to admit their shortcomings, or admit to doing something wrong. But relationships are complicated and sooner or later we all make mistakes. Fixing the problem is the easiest part, because now you've got your spouse involved.

A healthy relationship requires maintenance, lifetime maintenance. Always do your best to treat your relationship like it's new. Never forget to communicate with each other and have fun together. Relationships have their ups and downs, but as long as you two are working together you can survive anything. Marriages are built from the ground up, so it's important to always be working on the foundation.

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The wife-husband relationship is not an easy and simple relationship. Many marriages fail because the husband and wife do not have the right knowledge to keep their relationship going. If one partner had understood the dynamics of the relationship, the marriage can be stronger and healthier. But if we had that fantastic combination of a husband and wife who understand the relationship, the chances are this marriage will have the best luck to grow as a good marriage.

The most important thing to do is to understand how different men and women are in order to understand the relationship between a husband and wife. We are different in the outer physical appearance as we are different mentally and emotionally.

Men and women are different when they tend to approach a problem; they handle them from completely different angles. Most women will talk about the problem to the other. They might get a circle of interest from friends and family around them. Women tend to talk lengthily about their problems.

That's because women's approach to solve problems is to talk about them. They navigate through all the hidden parts of problem and expose their feeling about it, this is a very good technique and a solution might pop out while they are talking.

However, men are not so talkative about their own problems and concerns. They would rather think about it. It's more common for a man to think about a problem to figure out some solutions.

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In the wife husband relationship these different approaches to solve problem could be the problem itself. A man sees that she must find a solution for the problem rather than talking about it to death. A woman might think her man is not worried because he is not talking about the problem. These misunderstandings arise from the difference in nature between a man and a woman, it's on his mind all the time and he's just not pointing it out.

Sometimes, when women talk about problems, they do not want to find answers or solutions, they might want sympathy and they want someone to listen to their thoughts and opinions. While men are more direct, when they talk about something they want an answer.

A woman generally talks about something just to get rid of a burden, other women usually offer help, support and advice. They don't try to give ready solutions, they simply join in the conversation.

A man is more direct and simple; he offers a solution and tells the woman to take his advice, thinking he's being very helpful and supportive. But really, the woman will feel that he's not listening and he just wants to put an end to the conversation.

Of course, not every wife husband relationship will follow this exact procedure. Some men will be more talkative about their problems and some women will be tight-lipped about them. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these stereotypes.

Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that might hurt your relationship while you think it is natural. You can think about what your partner needs from you rather than giving them what you think they want and need. Your wife husband relationship will be happier because of it.

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People really do have the best of intentions when they get married. We all promise to love each other through thick and thin, despite illness and through the twists and turns that are inevitable when living with someone for many, many years. We have little control over the direction of our own life and so trying to anticipate what path a marriage will take requires a crystal ball that none of us possesses. Many things can influence a marriage and one day the person you married over a decade ago seems to have changed. If learning ways to save a marriage is important to you, hopefully this article will be of some use. But there really are some tried and true ways of learning how to save a marriage that have worked for others and can work for you.

Remove Your Ego

It is so easy when things start to go south in a marriage to focus on the other person or worse, speak only of the hurt they are causing you. Remembering that you both were making vows to get married, assuming that you both are committed to saving a marriage - your marriage - means removing your ego from the equation. What does that mean? It means a few things.

Stop thinking in terms of saving my marriage, but think about the two of you and your collective wants. Remember that your spouse's needs are just as important as yours.

Stop the blame game; this is easier said than done. Things happen; people say things that are hurtful. It is important to remember that you both contributed to what went wrong in the marriage and as such, learning how to save a marriage is a two-way street. Instead of approaching your spouse with, "I hate it when you..." fill in the blank, ask yourself, is this in line with learning how to save a marriage - this is your marriage after all. Instead, think of ways that celebrate the marriage and not ones that made your ego bruised. Think of your spouse and his or her needs in all this. If you both are doing this, and are less focused on "I" then you are starting to learn ways to save a marriage.

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Pick Your Battles

Arguing about every little thing your spouse ever did is counterproductive and does nothing toward how to save a marriage. A solid marriage doesn't need to have fights in it because each spouse learns new ways to communicate with one another. If you are still stuck on, "who left the toothpaste cap off the tube," or focusing on why dinner was burned, one thing you're not thinking about is how to save a marriage. Ask yourself this question when your spouse does something annoying, "is it worth pointing it out or will it detract from ways to save a marriage - our marriage?"

Live in the Moment

Being stuck on the past is just as counterproductive in learning how to save a marriage as inserting your ego into every little thing that happens in your marriage. Bringing up things that happened 15 years or three months ago doesn't do anyone any good. As things happen and if some of those things are hurtful, it's okay, as you are working on ways to save a marriage, to sit down with your partner and say, "hey, that hurt," or "I didn't like that, can we please talk about that?" Reminding him or her that he or she said something hurtful months ago isn't going to do either of you any good.

In short, learning about ways to save your marriage takes a special blend of:

* Time

* Patience

* Willingness

* Being in the Present

* Removing Your Ego

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When two people who are in love decide to get married, they have never thought that infidelity would be their problem. Why would you marry someone whom you think will cheat on you later, right? When you find out that you have a cheating spouse, have you ever thought of what you will do?

The pain is incomparable when a person finds out that his or her spouse is cheating on him or her. Your future will start looking bleak and you will also start thinking if your spouse was ever true to you in the past. And today, you are at a complete loss on what to do. Will you immediately file for divorce? Or will you still think about forgiving and taking him or her back?

Of course, the first thing that comes to mind when you catch your spouse cheating is to inflict the same pain that you are feeling on him. Sadly, when you love your spouse very much, revenge is never enough to ease the pain. Therefore, after you have accepted your spouse's mistake, the best thing to do is to talk things out with him or her.

You most definitely need answers to your questions. And only your spouse can provide the answers to these questions. More often than not, the hurt spouse wants to find out why the infidelity was committed. When you ask this question, remember to keep an open mind with regards to the answers that your spouse will give.

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Always bear in mind that a relationship is successful because of the two people who are in it. Likewise, failed relationships happen because the people in it let it happen. For instance, many cheating spouses started on this path because their spouses did not have time for them any longer. You can get very busy with work and other things that you forget about your spouse's needs. Or you have not been treating your spouse the right way ever since you got married. When you want to ask him or her to do something, you always shout your orders. If you have been mistreating your spouse for a long time now, chances are he or she will not put up with this and start looking for someone else.

These are just some examples of circumstances showing that both spouses are partly to blame for the cheating. Remember that your spouse no longer has to look anywhere else if he or she gets love, affection, and respect from you.

Once you know the reason behind the cheating, you can ask your spouse how she or he feels about the mistake that he or she did. When your spouse asks for your forgiveness, can you forgive him or her? This is a very difficult question that you have to answer. Will you still give your spouse another chance to win back your trust? Or will you still think about divorce?

If you happen to discover about your cheating spouse, talk things out first before making hasty decisions. Know what could have caused your spouse to cheat and see if he or she is remorseful.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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