Lessons from a Pilot's Daughter - Part 2

Life coaching is about helping people reach their goals and discover their ability to transform their lives. When life deals us hard knocks, it is easy to react defensively. We may see the problems as external – caused by other people or institutions. In our anger, we magnify our significance. We forget we share this planet with 6 billion other people, each of whom has problems and concerns that are just as weighty as ours. By reframing our experiences and approaching others with openness and acceptance, we can reach the heights of personal and professional success. In this installation of Lessons from a Pilots Daughter, I hope to share some of the perspective gained from my experience as an Air Force brat.

Bird's Eye View
My dad's last assignment in the Air Force was flying U-2s as a member of the 99th Reconnaissance Wing at Beale AFB in California. The U-2 is the highest flying single engine piloted aircraft, reaching altitudes of up to 70,000 feet (a commercial airliner can fly at approximately 33,000 feet). During air shows, I would marvel at the photographs taken from the U-2, some of which show the curvature of the earth. Even in a small-engine craft, as we ascend, houses appear to shrink into Monopoly pieces, people become ants, and highways become phosphorescent circulatory systems. When we step outside of our own life drama and take the bird's-eye view, we can begin to imagine solutions or find the courage to face that which is unsolvable. Our problems, though they may loom large in the moment, are a tiny fraction of life on this planet. The saying, “time heals all wounds,” acknowledges the power of distance. Even times that seem dark acquire meaning in hindsight. By distancing ourselves from our problems in the moment, we can use our faith to move through them with grace and humility. Are there any challenges in your life that seem insurmountable? What is the view from above? Even if you cannot see the silver lining now, know that distance will bring new meaning to whatever is happening in the moment.

We're in this Together
Military families move almost every three years, so getting used to new places and people is required. During my father's 20 years in the Air Force, he was assigned to bases in Texas, Florida and California. Additionally, he had extended assignments in South Korea and Cyprus. It may surprise some folks to find out how welcoming a military base can be. When I visited my father after my parents' divorce, I was immediately accepted into the “kid culture” on base. Within hours, my social calendar would be filled with trips to the pool, roller rink and bowling alley. Even though I might miss a friend whose family had been reassigned, there would be a new friend for playing board games, overnights and other activities. Because military families move frequently, they become a part of the community quickly or risk being socially isolated. People exist within a community. If you are facing a change of career, moving to a new neighborhood or even attending a conference where you don't know anyone, remember that we are all in this together. By smiling and extending your hand to someone else, you help create a sense of belonging and community.

Be Open to Other Cultures
After my dad finished flight school, he was stationed at Webb AFB as a flight instructor. His students included a number of Vietnamese pilots. Two of my favorites were Truck and Tie (phonetic spellings). Truck would entertain the children with magic tricks and Tie would push us in the hammock until we thought we'd flip over. After the Vietnamese pilots came the Kuwaiti pilots, who demonstrated acrobatic tricks for me. When my dad was in South Korea, he sent me pictures, dolls and stories about the culture. He also told some funny stories about pilots who ate too much kemchi. He always encouraged me to sample foods and learn about other cultures. This interest in the world led me to seek out friends who were from other cultures or backgrounds. By opening ourselves up to other cultures, we learn not only our differences, but about the common bonds we all share. If you have the opportunity to travel, take it! You can do this in your own town. Go someplace you wouldn't normally go and strike up a conversation. Try a cuisine you've never had. If you are Buddhist, consider going to a Catholic mass. Likewise, if you are Catholic, check out the local Hindu temple or head over to a Gospel Revival.