My Husband Is Not The Man I Thought He Was: When Your Marriage Isn't What You Thought It Would Be

My Husband Is Not The Man I Thought He Was: When Your Marriage Isn't What You Thought It Would Be

Are you worried about the lack of passion and romance in your marriage? Do you miss the days when you felt the heat bubbling between you and your husband on a daily basis? Whatever happened to those days? Why have you two turned into roommates instead of true lovers?

Despite how you might feel right now, the good news is that something good can still occur in your marriage - as long as you are ready to relight the flames of love, that is. One of the best tricks on how to relight the flames of love in your marriage would be to use the element of surprise. This basically means that you should try and surprise your husband with different romantic gifts and acts on a regular basis. Don't worry; this doesn't necessarily mean that you have to spend a lot of money on him; you simply have to show him how much you love and care about him in the simplest and smallest of ways.

Believe it or not, small romantic gestures could be enough to relight the flames of love in your marriage without having to spend too much money - or any at all - in the process. Here are several tips on what you can do on a repeated and consistent basis to effectively get the flames of romance back into your marriage in no time:

- Surprise your husband at work one day and bring him lunch or take him out to lunch.

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- Get a bubble bath ready for him for when he gets back from a hectic day at work.

- Give him a foot rub out of nowhere.

- If there is a particular household chore that your husband despises, help him out the next time he has to do it without him having to ask you for help.

- Leave sweet little love notes around the house that your husband is sure to spot during the day and smile about.

- Cook his favorite meal every now and then and then clean up the dishes afterwards.

- Treat your husband like a king by taking out the kids when he least expects it, so that he can relax and just chill alone at home.

If you use to think that you would only be able to relight the flames of love by spending a lot of money on your husband, then think again. All you really have to do is show him that you appreciate him, and rekindling the sparks in your marriage should be as easy as pie.

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You can have your marriage go the way you want it and have the joy that comes from it. You can get better and improve on yourself. You can put a check on your feelings especially that belligerence that is aroused by a real or supposed wrong done to you. If put a hold and master your emotions, you are on your way to a fulfilled married life.

Secret #1
If you really want to enjoy your marriage then you must restrain your anger towards your spouse when you are wronged by holding yourself and not letting loose the actions that you want to display at that point. Learn to discipline yourself when you want to talk. Don't be quick to speak. Let the love you have for your spouse manifest in your reactions.try to stay calm so that you will not do what you never planned to do, which you will regret at the end. Know that anger is the dangerous weapon that destroys a marriage. Don't let it scatter what took you time to build. Learn to subject your emotions on check. You have what it takes to control it. Rule you emotions and don't let it have control over you.

Secret #2
When you cannot handle it, go for assistance or even counseling. Seek for medical advice on how to sort out things. Go to a good guidance and counselor, this will be of tremendous help to you. Know that there are people who have passed through what you are passing through and they were able to come out of it. Find out how they got out of it and be on top of things.Don't shy away from the help that will come your way. You can read good books and improve yourself. Be patient and at the time, rule your world.

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Secret #3
When you are having the feeling that is oriented towards some real or supposed grievance towards your spouse, be able to resist the urge to react and bust out. If you cannot stand it, change you position. For instance, you can quietly shift aside when you are annoyed to calm yourself.You mustn't bust out at that very time. Be matured about it and play by set of different rules. This will help avert the situation and save you the trouble that would have befallen your marriage. Don't speak when you are furious. Know that two wrongs can't make it right if you think you have the right to pour out your rage.

Secret #4
The best way to handle your emotions when you are grieved is to continually pray about it. Talk to God about it and believe He can help you. Believe you can! believe you can be better. Divinity is at work in you; manifest the best in you and exhibit your excellence. Your marriage can be what you want it to be.

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Adam and Eve were originally created together as one. In God's indefinable miraculously omnipotent manner that He only fully and comprehensively understands, He created mankind through Jesus Christ. Please check out Colossians for further revelatory confirmation! It has been wonderfully recorded in Genesis in God's divinely inspired Word that God formed man out of the ground and "breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living soul." This in itself could be an unfathomable concept? But we are here to prove that it is so. It is only by God's grace and mercy that mankind continues to exist. If you truly believe the scriptures then you must know that God's Word will not return void.

It will in His time accomplish just what He has said! You will actually find out that this means that just about everything and anything will happen to prevent a lasting union of "Holy Matrimony" from taking place. This is why so many have fallen by the wayside. One must remain, faithful, prayerful and vigilantly continuously focused on what God has said. Both must be willing to submit to God's design. Adam and Eve have already showed us what happens when you do otherwise. It is clear that although Adam and Eve were given instructions they deterred from what God originally intended. They simply did their own thing! So we all by nature have inherited the proclivity to fulfill the desires of the flesh. God tells us in Galatians 5 "So I say live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with one another... " Here lies the conflict.

God said not to and they chose to do just the opposite. Now think about this they allowed a serpent to deter them from the glorious path of serenity and ease that God had provided for them. Everything that they could possibly ever need was at their disposal. But yet they were convinced to go against what they knew to be so. We must be careful to whom we consult and listen to! Wise spiritual counsel is necessary! Had you ever thought about how the current "NOW" trends toward marriage is impacting the future generations? Just think and imagine with me for a moment.

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God made Adam and Eve as well as the heavens and the earth and all that was in it! He had given them basic instructions as well as boundaries in which to operate. "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them... God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it..." He simply told them not to do some things. But they were convinced otherwise. They deviated from God's design for their relationship. This may not be something you want to think about but it's true. Just take a look around us today and see how many marriages that have gone awry. God has also told us not to do some things. But He has also given us a will to choose. Know that the Bible is not a series of mythical fairytales. Don't be deceived. It is full of Godly wisdom and authentic life situations recorded to sustain us and keep us on the straight path and to help us make better life decisions.

As we visit the corridors of scripture we can see a multitude of scenes scripted and replayed in a plethora of scenarios. So much so that God decided that we needed a Savior to come and inhabit a body of flesh to save us from ourselves. To save us from the power of sin deterring us from doing what He has said not to do. This is why we need a "Savior". We who say we are believers must revisit and embrace God's design for the marital relationship. Time is winding up. Again I say if you truly believe, then you know what God says really does settle it! It does not matter if you agree or not. Yes, He allows us free choice. But, ultimately God has control over everything. Although the world, tradition, cultures, time and people changes God does not.

Some change partners like a suit of clothing. His basic foundational concept for marriage remains the same. If we look about us it has been redefined and realigned with who and whatever alternatives the masses have chosen. But for the born again baptized believer it remains the same. Notice what happened every time in the Old Testament when "they did what was right in their own eyes" Although His principle for marriage may seem outdated and or sound akin to that lone voice of John the Baptist. He who was constantly crying "Repent". Repentance is definitely needed and necessary. Repent means to turn to God. Not to turn around and do the same thing. God has not changed! "Be still and know." Today it is no different from way back when He told Adam and Eve not to...Look at the results of how they chose to not listen and instead do what they wanted to do. So here we are today.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

We can not turn back the hands of times. Nor undo what has been done. But we can always go forward with our ears bent to His Word and open to the direction of His Holy Spirit. In the Book of Acts the Apostles accomplished all they did because they obediently followed the Lord despite the persecution and mistreatment. They endured many hardships because of their commitment to live for the Lord. They remained faithful and committed to what they knew was right. They were confident that the Lord would take care of them! How does one know who or what to listen to? One must first admit you need the Lord! God really is there for you. His Word really is our "life map." With Him it is true "I can do all things through Christ that gives me strength."

We need to be revived, refreshed and refueled by His Holy Spirit daily. Did He not promise His COMFORTER! Did He not say that He would live within you? All His promises are true! Do not settle for second hand information. Know what He has said and still means! Know the Lord for yourself. Again remember Galatians says "so I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature, for the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the SPIRIT, and the SPIRIT what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are lead by the SPIRIT you are not under law. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious, sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry, and witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealously, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." God really does have a better way.Please take a few personal minutes, to pause and ponder for a self exploration inquisition on each of the above points.

As a believer, a child of God (God has no grandchildren) one must get to know Him through His Word. I suggest taking some time to know Him and the power of His only Beloved Son's birth, sinless life, crucifixion, burial and Resurrection. To really know Him personally and intimately. God does not want you to live in a rigid legalistic fashion. He really does want you to have joy! He is our reason for not just a season but for living. He is the Tree of Life! He wants us to walk in the Light of His Word! He wants you to have a God-centered marriage. We need Him in order to stay on, return to, or continue in the designated path that He has set before us. His basic foundational principles for marriage are for a committed monogamous relationship between one man and one woman.

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Remember that God is a God of Light! We as His children are to walk in the Light! Don't coast over the obvious but allow the Holy Spirit to enlighten you and shower you with a cleansing bath of His Word. The precious Blood of Jesus does and can purify us from all sin! We must know and embrace the fruit of His Spirit in order to have a committed monogamous marriage. The Fruit of His Spirit is found in Galatians 5. "But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit..."

God's fruit is not only good for marriage but for our every day living. God is there for you at whatever point you are in life. He is willing and able to meet you right where you are, regardless of who you are or whatever your station is in life. But He does not want you to stay where you are. He can and will make a significant substantial difference. When we are truly abiding in the Lord His fruit should be evident in our day to day life. Life will always have its challenges. God knew then just as He knows now what is necessary for us to navigate through this valley of the shadow of death. That is what is so very fascinating about His Word! Please know that these are not just some religious passages of scriptures that are merely quoted. We have been bombarded by so many religious philosophies that many are simply confused. The Scriptures contain a plethora of wisdom and principles to know, embrace, digest and apply to our everyday lives. They are to know and do rather than know and set aside.

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God is here for us. He is right where you are and wants to help you in your marriage. If you are alone, just out of, or going into a relationship He is still there for you. He wants you to, and will help you enlist the fruit of His Spirit in your life. He wants us to do what we know is right rather than embrace the way of the world and do whatever feels right. This does not mean that life will not be without its challenges. He really can keep you calm in the midst of a storm. He really does give "peace that surpasses the understanding of man". As believers we can optimistically go forward. There is absolutely nothing that is hidden from the Lord! God is willing and able to help you fulfill His desire for you to carry out His design for marriage. He also promises to walk with you when you are alone. Do you really believe? Just think for a moment? If you are married did you not include Him in your commitment vows? God loves us and wants us to live, walk in and have a growing marriage relationship where His presence is welcome. We must humble ourselves and sincerely turn to Him. Being humble does not mean saying "I am humble" or acting humble. It means to really submit your will and your way to Him no matter what it may look like. It is really a position of when your heart, mind and will are unified and bent towards Him. You really can have peace knowing He really knows that this is in fact the case.

It is through Him we learn "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." I believe and know that "Holy Matrimony" truly is possible. You can not undo what has been done. But you can move forward trusting, believing and knowing that God wants to help you in your marriage. "Haven't you read, "replied He, that at the beginning the Creator, made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate..." (See Mark 10) Don't allow the current trends to become your choice. God has a plan for your life. God's strength is available for you today right where you are. He is willing and able to lead guide and direct you. Set aside some quiet time and allow Him to speak to you for your path forward.

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