Has someone nearby been sending you emails rather than calling or meeting you face-to-face? When you do get together, does she or he stand back, avoid holding eye contact, or speaking up?
While there are many possible reasons for their behavior, that person may, in fact, be a victim of what ... Views: 3638
"Keeping Cool While Under Fire" by Kare Anderson
Imagine. The number one reason people get fired in the U.S. is anger, andthe number one problem people say they have at work is they do not feelheard and respected.
How do we make people feel heard when they are difficult to be around -- and ... Views: 2240
When the priest was moved to a new parish he approached he asked his superior to ask for permission, “Would you mind if I smoked while praying?” and was, not too surprisingly, turned down.
Some wise people instinctively know they can gain approval by how they ask. Set the stage for people to ... Views: 1661
Why do we instinctively like some people and find others irritating or worse?
What makes us agree, buy, help . . . or not? Do your gut instincts help or hinder your “LQ” – Likeability Quotient? From an expert on gut instincts, gain insights about how to say it better next ... Views: 1646
The secret is all in understanding a code.
It is a most elaborate code that is written nowhere,
known by none, and yet understood by all. That secret
is how we tell each other, without words, what
we really feel.
How do other people perceive you, especially upon first meeting you ... Views: 1641
Forget making New Year’s resolutions this year. They are notoriously hard to keep. Instead start down a concrete path to make your work and life more meaningful and satisfying. How? Begin by “finding the thread that ties your story together” suggests Pamela Slim in her new book, Body of Work. ... Views: 1469
Your hobby or work expertise or belief may be unusual, yet it’s likely that people near you share your interest. Or they may just want to have fun. How can you find those kindred spirits? By hosting an ever-better MeetUp.
Also consider start a MeetUp to create a profit center for yourself. Or ... Views: 1406
We instinctively experience situations as individuals or as part of a group. As David Brooks suggests today, the world is divided into those with an individualist or a collectivist mentality. Guess which group is larger.
Freedom to succeed. That powerful American dream attracts millions of ... Views: 1392
I don’t know about you but sometimes I take too long to get to the point. Instead of listening, my captive audience goes on a mental vacation. They feel talked “at” rather than “with. “ Especially if something is really important to me or I know too much on the ... Views: 1347
At a wedding I attended last Summer on the most southern island of Greece, an American was marrying a Greek woman he met at graduate school. People traveled there from 20 countries. Of the 90 or so guests, all under 30 years of age had visited at least five countries, often for study, work or ... Views: 1328
That irritating co-worker you’re stuck sitting by (again!) sees a decidedly different side of you than your best friend does. That’s because you have many people inside of you (no they’re not imaginary).
That’s what veteran science writer, Rita Carter discovered as she ... Views: 1268
Tap the Little-Known Secret to First Impressions for Building Likeability
Vala Afshar intuitively practices a little-known secret for attracting talented people as friends and colleagues. It’s an obvious truth, once stated. I saw it vividly demonstrated at Pivotcon. Via Twitter, he ... Views: 1106
In his novel, Something Happened, Joseph Heller wrote “I try my best to remember on what terms (my wife) and I parted this morning, or went to sleep last night, in order to know if she is still angry with me for something I did or did not say or do that I a no longer aware of. Is she mad or is ... Views: 1094
Whatever behavior we praise we encourage to flourish in others – especially when they are around us. Whatever we criticize or “simply” snub goes deeper into their consciousness however. Hint: Speak to their positive intent, especially when it appears they may have none. That may be the best way ... Views: 947
I got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria with ... Views: 929
Are you quotAble? Or do people stop listening before you stop talking? Being heard and frequently quoted is essential to attracting more opportunities and friendships. Without that talent you may be rich, smart, well-connected, well-intentioned, and hardworking yet you are likely to lose to the ... Views: 888
When things go wrong, we tend to blind ourselves to other’s feelings. We are more likely to fall into a destructive behavioral trap. Sadly, when we do, we cannot be empathic. We weaken that human bond that’s vital to re-grouping and resilience. These blinding mindsets make us feel dumb, ... Views: 886
Fun Way to Learn Faster Together
As a kid I spent much of one summer, sitting on the curb in front of my home, watching Mike, the cute boy across the street, riding his bike on daring ramp jumps in his driveway. (My “surprise” bike wouldn’t arrive until my birthday). Then Mike would speed out ... Views: 877
In the longest study of what led men to live happily and successfully to a ripe old age, guess what trait they were most likely to have in common? The lives of 268 men who entered Harvard College in 1937 were tracked for seventy-two years in The Harvard Study of Adult Development. Those who ... Views: 876
Did you know that young males with organized college dorm rooms that have a sports décor tend to be conservative? Or that liberals are more likely to have messy room? Or that displaying inspirational posters sometimes signals a neurotic?” Those are just some of Sam Gosling’s fascinating ... Views: 852
This trap is the bias that leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to reinforce a current stance or perspective, but also how we interpret the evidence we ... Views: 847
To support you on your path towards greater mental toughness, former Navy Seal and Rhodes Scholar and author of Resilience, Eric Greitens shared this with me: “If I sat down in your living room and placed a giant bag of jigsaw puzzle pieces on a table in front of you and asked you to put all of ... Views: 845
I got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria with ... Views: 815
This trap is the bias that leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to reinforce a current stance or perspective, but also how we interpret the evidence we ... Views: 809
As a full-time paid speaker, I offer these six proven suggestions for meeting planners to optimize to value and visibility of the speaker — for their attendees and for the speaker:
1. After you hire a speaker, ask that presenter to submit three actionable tips, with titles (under 100 words ... Views: 808
What makes a meeting truly stand out from others? It's not necessarily how much money was spent but how many positively memorable experiences the attendee recalls. Many conferences involve a theme, reinforced through a logo, theme, events, and speakers to create an overall "feel" and value ... Views: 807
Kindness is often unspoken. “An eye can threaten like a loaded and leveled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. At another time, Emerson wrote, “You cannot do a kindness too ... Views: 804
Forget making New Year’s resolutions this year. They are notoriously hard to keep. Instead start down a concrete path to make your work and life more meaningful and satisfying. How? Begin by “finding the thread that ties your story together” suggests Pamela Slim in her new book, Body of Work. ... Views: 799
1. Adopt Mutual Mentoring to Accelerate Self-Organizing and Innovation: For starters, use the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr to establish a system that facilitates the connection of mentors and mentees using the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr. Then take the complimentary next step: an under-utilized, no ... Views: 798
Perhaps one of the most vulnerable of moments is when someone criticizes you. If the person who criticizes you knows you well, and if she makes their comments in front of other people, she can cut deep. The scalpel of her comments can be surgically rapid and close to the bone, more damaging than ... Views: 794
1. Adopt Mutual Mentoring to Accelerate Self-Organizing and Innovation: For starters, use the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr to establish a system that facilitates the connection of mentors and mentees using the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr. Then take the complimentary next step: an under-utilized, no ... Views: 786
Here are five fairly simple to take some of the stress out of your life. They don’t always work, yet what does?
1. Problems seldom exist at the level they're expressed. To resolve some conflicts, look for the problem that underlies what you're discussing. Ask yourself where the actual ... Views: 780
Attract and serve unexpected allies with different talents and life and work experiences and you are more likely to gain insights that lead to your greater success – and theirs. Bad collaboration is worse than no collaboration,” Collaboration author, Morten T. Hansen emphatically concluded, yet ... Views: 780
The sweet scent of the narcissus plant wafts upstairs to me just like the lingering memory of my uphill neighbors, an always upbeat Irish couple in their early eighties. Stopping off on their daily walk, they knocked on my door early this morning to deliver the plant, their holiday gift, ... Views: 759
Share The Story Others Want To Be In
Peter Guber’s advice in Tell to Win shows how stories can build in bragging rights by creating purposeful narratives. Then you can pull others into your story because they can see a role they want to play in that purpose. In their re-telling of your story, ... Views: 743
How we cobble together the incidents in our lives and create a narrative thread reflects that spin, revealing our hidden personalities and our tendencies suggests psychologist Dan McAdams, author of The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By. Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a ... Views: 734
See how forging apt partnerships with other firms that serve the same kind of customers, companies of all sizes can create unexpected benefits and transform customer service from an afterthought into a highlight.
1. Offer a Tantalizing “Extra”
Who knows how many people chose to stay at the ... Views: 724
Joe Lee was sitting at a table, rapidly counting rain jackets in a small room somewhere above the sumptuous lobby of the Jamaican hotel where I was to speak at a global corporate conference the next morning. I did not know who he was then, although he looked familiar. I was just told that the ... Views: 724
Some startled neighbors who were out walking or at their window yesterday asked why we were carrying a fully-decorated Christmas tree up our steep street in Sausalito, when it was just November. Upon hearing our story, Martin, Jim, Ingrid, Julia and Jacob, joined us, carefully picking up the ... Views: 721
Joe Lee was sitting at a table, rapidly counting rain jackets in a small room somewhere above the sumptuous lobby of the Jamaican hotel where I was to speak at a global corporate conference the next morning. I did not know who he was then, although he looked familiar. I was just told that the ... Views: 717
1. Specificity Boosts Clarity and Accountability
The more concrete the agreement, the more clear the obligation and the more difficult it is for someone to misunderstand. "Please get right on that" does not create as much clarity nor accountability as, "Please finalize your choice of vendors by ... Views: 715
When told to tackle the widespread child malnutrition in Vietnam in 1990 as an employee of Save the Children, Jerry and Monique Sternin could easily have become overwhelmed. Plus the country’s foreign minister told them, “You have six months to make a difference.”
Instead of looking at the ... Views: 712
David Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choices “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. ... Views: 706
When you most want to smash someone in the face or run out of the room, remember this irony. Cooling off someone else’s anger can be a way to actually bring that person closer. Warning: Don’t add fuel to the fire by suggesting that they calm down. Here are five ways to not only dampen their ... Views: 698
Even the most time-pressed business owner can attract more customers with less effort through the right cross-promotional marketing. Why? Because when you join forces with other credible people who also reach your target market you can reach your customers more efficiently, credibly, and ... Views: 691
How we cobble together the incidents in our lives and create a narrative thread reflects that spin, revealing our hidden personalities and our tendencies suggests psychologist Dan McAdams, author of The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By. Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a ... Views: 677
Unexpected and sometimes enlightening things can happen when sharing a new experience with those who don’t act right, like you. I got unexpected insights when, with two friends, I walked through the Steins Collection of paintings by Matissse, Picasso and other avant-garde painters in bohemian ... Views: 677
David Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choices “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. ... Views: 673
What makes a meeting truly stand out from others? It's not necessarily how much money was spent but how many positively memorable experiences the attendee recalls. If you run a store, tourist attraction or other facility, some of the tips you read below may also help you enhance the experience ... Views: 670
David Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choices “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. ... Views: 670